SANTA FE, N.M. – October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. In Santa Fe, there is a shelter that helps victims with the resources, and strength they need.

The shelter provides everything from support groups to crisis hotlines. They will even help get law enforcement involved if needed.

“It impacts every single home. It impacts every single business. One in three. How many staff members do you have that they’re involved in domestic violence that you don’t know?” said Jan McCray, CEO of Esperanza Shelter. 

Only one month of the year is dedicated to raising awareness about domestic abuse. For Esperanza shelter, helping people live a life free of violence is year round.

“We offer 24-hour crisis hotline, emergency residential shelter, legal advocacy down at the courthouse, a full range of counseling services, individual support groups, as well as our abuse intervention program that serves people who cause harm,” said McCray.

It could be, physical, emotional, financial, and psychological. McCray says a lot of times when people meet, they are on their best behavior, and it’s not until later that the red flags start waving.

“Then, as the relationship develops and there’s more connection, that is when things generally start going in a negative way,” McCray said. 

So here are some signs to look for early on:

“‘You’re ugly, or you don’t have makeup on, you need to put that on. Your hair is ugly. You’re worthless, you’re stupid. Nobody will want you. I’m the only person who could ever love you. If you love me, you would stop talking to your mom every day. Cutting off finances, maintaining finances,’” said McCray.

What do you do if you know someone in a situation like this?

“So listen, believe them. Don’t try to fix it unless your friend specifically asked you for advice on the next steps,” McCray said. “Be there to support them and know that those folks can come to you, and you’re a safe place for them.”

McCray says it takes about seven times for someone to leave their abuser and stay gone. At Esperanza, they have found some people don’t want to leave, they just want the abuse to stop.

“Which is another reason why we offer services for everyone in the family unit or in the household unit,” McCray said.

Unfortunately, domestic abuse can also lead to women and children living on the streets.

“About 65% of the unhoused women and children in the country are there because of domestic violence. They lose their job, and their friends and family cut them off out of incredible frustration to see what their loved one is going through. And it’s just a number of factors,” said McCray. 

If you or someone you know need help, click here for more information about the Esperanza shelter.